Myanmar - a former child soldier looks back
Yan lets out a nervous laugh as he begins to recount a childhood memory - not one of playing games or going hunting but rather of real guns and his forced recruitment into the Tatmadaw, the Burmese army, as a child soldier in the late 1990s.
From the age of seven until he was 11, Yan’s troop and fellow boy soldiers became his family – wherever they went, he went.
"All we see is hatred. Everyone hated us. I don’t know...I just do what I got told" says Yan, speaking about moving in the jungles and across villages in their region.
"I didn't go there, I ended up there" Yan says about being made to join military school.
When his parents separated Yan left home at the age of seven, wandering about in search of work.
He ended up doing dishes at an eatery in a town outside of Yangon.
Here he was picked up by a so-called 'recruiter', like thousands of children across Burma in the 90s – either lured or threatened into signing up to fight.
Burma’s massive military had major problems with morale and desertion.
So it would pay well for recruits to meet its quotas, even if new conscripts were mere kids who’d been tricked, stolen, even beaten and drugged.
Most fought for the government army, but the opposition forces fighting against them were also guilty of using children.
After a series of narrow escapes, ambushes and captures, Yan and a friend he made in a rebel camp where he was held, made a run for it and arrived at the Thai-Burma border.
In February 2003, with the help of the UNHCR, he and his friend arrived in New Zealand as minor refugees. Yan was 13-years-old.
After arriving at Auckland's Refugee Settlement Centre, Yan was then relocated to Nelson where he was taken in by a guardian family and began a new life.
"I haven't spoken to my mum in Myanmar for almost 17 years. I called her once, to tell her I'm in New Zealand.
"My daughter will never know everything I've seen. I just try to forget everything and start a new life. I like spearfishing so I do that a lot - it makes me happy and I feel free in the ocean."